Going through a divorce is never easy. But it doesn’t always have to mean a drawn-out battle in court. In Maryland, many couples turn to divorce mediation as a way to resolve their differences without litigation. If you're considering this route, it’s important to understand how divorce mediation works, when it’s a good idea, and when it’s not.

Below, I break down what to expect from the process, the benefits and drawbacks, and how to know if it’s the right approach for your situation.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work?

Divorce mediation is a process where a neutral third party - called the mediator - helps you and your spouse reach agreements on the key issues in your divorce. These typically include things like property division, alimony, child custody, and child support.

Unlike a judge, the mediator doesn’t make decisions. Instead, they facilitate conversation, guide negotiations, and help both sides find common ground. The goal is to reach a voluntary agreement that works for both of you.

In Maryland, divorce mediation can be private or court-ordered. If you and your spouse agree to try mediation on your own, mediation is voluntary (your choice to participate), you choose the mediator and when to mediate. Court-ordered mediation is still voluntary (your choice to settle), but you may be required to participate, probably don’t choose the mediator, and you will have a deadline to complete mediation. Court-ordered mediation screens for domestic violence, coercive control, and abuse, which may result in no mediation.

The mediation process typically begins with an introduction where ground rules are set. After that, you’ll meet with the mediator together - and sometimes separately - to discuss each issue. The number of sessions depends on the complexity of your divorce and how much you already agree on.

Once you reach a resolution, the mediator may draft a written agreement or they may give you a list of agreed terms for you to have a lawyer use to draft an agreement instead. That agreement can then be submitted to the court for approval and made part of your divorce decree.

Mediation is generally faster and more cost-effective than litigation. You and your spouse determine the timeline and have control over the outcome. In litigation, the court controls the timeline and process, and a Judge or Magistrate decides the outcome - all of which can be quite expensive.

Another advantage? You and your spouse stay in control of the outcome. When a judge decides your case, you’re stuck with their ruling. In mediation, you can craft solutions that are tailored to your specific needs.

It’s important to know that you can still have your own lawyer during mediation - whether that lawyer is in the background advising you & helping you prepare to attend mediation yourself or that lawyer attends mediation with you and negotiates on your behalf. Also, if a mediator drafts the settlement agreement, having a lawyer review it before you sign is an important step to understand your rights and pros/cons of the agreement you are about to sign.

When is Mediation Not Recommended?

Mediation isn’t the right fit for every divorce. The process relies on open communication and good faith negotiations. If those aren’t possible, mediation can quickly break down.

So, when is divorce mediation not recommended?

If there’s a history of domestic violence or abuse, mediation may not be safe - or fair. Even with a mediator present, one spouse may feel intimidated or unable to speak honestly. In those cases, going through the court process with legal protections in place is usually better.

Mediation also doesn’t work well when one spouse is hiding assets or being dishonest about finances. Without transparency, there’s no way to reach a fair agreement. If you suspect dishonesty, litigation gives your lawyer the tools to conduct discovery and demand financial documentation.

Another red flag is a power imbalance that can't be managed. If one spouse consistently dominates the conversation or refuses to budge on any issue, mediation may end up being a waste of time and money.

Emotional readiness matters, too. If one party is emotionally detached and focused on resolving the issues, while the other is still grieving the relationship and not ready to compromise, the process will stall.

It’s also important to consider the complexity of your case. If you have high-value assets, a complicated business, or a custody arrangement that involves special needs or relocation, it may be hard to work through that out in a mediation setting. That said, even in complex divorces, mediation can help parties target and work through specific impasses, with time and creativity that a trial doesn’t provide.

There are also hybrid models that combine mediation and litigation. For example, you might use mediation to resolve financial issues but let the court decide on custody. Or vice versa. Mediation doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

And remember: mediation doesn’t mean you lose your legal protections. If you reach an agreement, both parties still have the right to review it with an attorney before signing. Nothing becomes final until it’s signed.

Thinking About Divorce Mediation? Talk to a Maryland Divorce Lawyer First

Divorce mediation can save time, money, and emotional energy - but only when it’s the right fit. Before you commit, make sure you understand how divorce mediation works and whether it’s appropriate for your situation.

I’ve helped countless Maryland clients weigh their options and choose the best path forward. Whether you're considering mediation or already in the process, our team and I can provide sound legal advice every step of the way.

Ready to talk? Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation.